Dark Dreams
by preachersgal
Summary: ATF AU - When an explosion causes Chris Larabee to lose nine years of memories, how will his teammates and his new fiancee deal with the crisis?
1. Chapter 1

**Dark Dreams**

[Chris/OFC - ATF AU]

"When it is dark enough, you can see the stars." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Chris ran through the narrow corridors of the building. He had to catch this asshole and there was no way he'd give up the chase.

He saw a burst of movement up ahead and hurried in that direction. The rest of the team should be close. It wouldn't be long now.

He tripped over something on the floor and started to fall. He threw his left hand out to break his fall while his right clutched his handgun.

Just before he hit the deck, there was a flash of light and a terrific explosion. That was the last thing Chris saw or heard before everything went black.

"He's in a coma, that's all we know right now," the doctor said.

"Caused by the explosion?" Nathan asked.

"We believe so," the doctor replied.

Six members of Team 7 stood encircling the physician in the hospital's waiting room.

"How long before he comes out of it?" Buck asked.

The doctor shook his head, "We don't know. Comas are unpredictable. Could be hours, days."

"But he'll be okay when he wakes up, right?" JD asked.

"We don't know yet. We have to run more tests," the doctor replied.

Vin sighed exasperated "Well, what **do** you know?"

"We know the coma was a result of the explosion. He suffered some minor burns and abrasions. We'll know more in a few days. Who is the next of kin?" The doctor asked.

"His fiancée, Miss Emily Bradshaw," Ezra said.

"Do you have a number where we can reach her?"

"I think one of us should call her," Josiah interjected.

"I'll take care of that," Buck said, heading out of the waiting room in the direction of the nearest payphone.

Emily Bradshaw sat at her desk in the den of Chris Larabee's ranch house. She worked as a freelance writer and was currently working on an article for The Denver Post.

Six months ago, she'd come to Denver to do research on the work done by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. Her original objective had been to interview Assistant Director Orin W. Travis about the work of the leading ATF team in the U.S., Team Seven. After speaking with AD Travis, she made a request to interview the Team Leader, Chris Larabee. That request was utterly rejected by Agent Larabee, until Travis ordered him to cooperate as the resulting publicity would be very favorable for the Bureau. Chris agreed but it was with no small measure of reluctance that he met Emily. That reluctance lasted until she walked through the door of his office and Chris caught sight of the tall, blue-eyed brunette.

What originally was to be an hour-long meeting stretched into lunch, a late-afternoon meeting and a dinner. For the next three days, Chris spoke to Emily. She'd heard he had a reputation as a recalcitrant man, but that side of his personality was never displayed to the reporter.

Emily had planned to spend the next two weeks in Denver to finish her research and every free moment the pair had was spent together. The last weekend Emily was to be in town, Chris asked her to come to his ranch. Emily did come and never left. Chris and Emily had fallen head-over-heels in love and he asked her to stay. She relocated to Denver and moved in with Chris.

Four months later, Chris proposed while they were on a camping trip on the Middle Saint Vrain River in the Roosevelt National Forest. Emily was ecstatic in her acceptance. She never dreamed she'd meet and fall in love with a man like Chris Larabee.

The boys in Team Seven were thrilled for Chris as well, especially Buck Wilmington. Buck hadn't seen Chris this happy in years. It reminded Buck of the days before Sarah and Adam were murdered and the ladies man was pleased that his oldest friend had found happiness at last. Emily had been welcomed into their close 'brotherhood' with open arms.

When the phone on her desk rang, Emily assumed it was her editor calling.

"Hello," she said.

"Em? It's Buck," came the rather breathless reply.

"Hi Buck – what's wrong?" Emily asked not liking the tone of his voice.

"Are you sittin' down, honey?" Buck asked gently.

Cold fear clutched at Emily's heart. "Yes. Buck – is it Chris? What's happened?"

"Em, he's alive. There was an explosion at a case we were on. Chris was hurt and is in a coma. We're at Rocky Mountain Regional Trauma Center. Do you know where that is?"

"Yes – Buck, what did the doctor say?"

"They don't know much yet, Em. They're still running tests."

Emily closed her eyes for a moment. 'Oh God, please let him be all right,' she prayed.

"Em? You still there?" Buck asked after a moment of silence.

Emily opened her eyes and two tears slipped down her cheeks, "Yes, Buck. I'll be there as quick as I can."

"Want me to come and get you?"

"No, that'll take too long. I'll throw a few things in my suitcase and be there within the hour," she took a deep breath and let it out.

"Honey, take a cab – I don't want you to drive. You're too upset," Buck said.

"All right," she replied quietly. "Buck – is he going to survive?"

"Doctor said they'll know more in a few days. I'm so sorry, Em."

"Thank you for calling me, Buck. I'll see you soon."

"I'll be here, honey. Em, Chris is strong. He'll make it. You be careful and call a cab."

"I will," she sniffed. "Bye."

"Bye."

Emily hung up the phone. She was stunned and her mind was racing. She got up and ran to the bedroom. Grabbing a suitcase from the closet, she began to toss clothing into it. She called a cab to come pick her up and gathered her purse. Then she placed a quick call to her editor, locked up the house and waited on the porch for the cab to arrive.

Emily paid the cab driver and raced into the hospital. She hurried to the reception desk and was given directions to the waiting room where the boys from Team 7 were gathered.

She flew into the room, purse and suitcase clutched in her hands. The boys all stood at the sight of her. AD Travis was with them as well.

Emily was breathless and wide-eyed as she looked around the room. Patience was definitely not her strong suit.

"Well?" She gasped. "Any more news on Chris?"

Buck was at her side and put his hands on her shoulders. "Em, we're waitin' on the doctor. Nothing more than what I told you on the phone just yet," the ladies man said with a kind smile.

Emily looked up at Buck, tears in her eyes. She drew in a shuddering breath, "Oh god, Buck." The purse and suitcase fell to the floor as she started to cry. Buck pulled Emily into his embrace and held her.

"It's gonna be all right, Em," Buck whispered. "Chris has survived worse."

After a few moments, Emily seemed to collect herself. She took a deep breath and let it out. "I'm sorry – I'm all right."

"Let's take a seat," Buck said while JD picked up her purse and suitcase and moved them next to the chairs where the rest of the boys and Travis had gathered around Emily and Buck in a quiet show of support.

She looked around at the group. "Can you tell me what happened?"

The boys looked at Travis. It was after all a federal case and she was a journalist. But Travis nodded.

Vin said, "We were chasing after a suspect. Guy was smuggling in alcohol. Had him cornered in a building."

Josiah added, "We were working our way through the building – searching – all seven of us."

Buck said, "Chris had spotted him – was on his tail – almost had him too."

"Then there was some sort of explosion," Nathan added.

"The arson investigators are still on the scene," Ezra said, "trying to determine the cause of the explosion."

"The explosion was what hurt Chris," JD said.

Emily met JD's eyes, "How bad is he hurt?"

JD looked uncomfortable. Orin put a hand on the younger man's shoulder and said, "The doctors aren't quite sure yet. He has some minor burns and abrasions. But the coma is what's uncertain. They know it was caused by the explosion. But anything else may take a few days as they run tests."

Emily met Orin's gaze and nodded.

Just then the doctor walked in.

Buck led Emily over, "Em, this is Doctor Jacoby. Doctor, this is Emily Bradshaw."

Doctor Jacoby nodded briskly, "Miss Bradshaw. You can come and see him now. You and one other. Only two at a time."

Emily clutched Buck's hand and the pair followed Doctor Jacoby from the waiting room.

As they walked along the corridor, Doctor Jacoby told them that Chris was still in a coma and they'd run some additional tests. They'd have more information in later that day. He stopped before the ICU unit and opened the door.

There were about eight beds in the room, four lining each wall. All the patients were in varying stages of distress. Some awake, some unconscious. Monitors beeped and breathing machines hissed. Doctor Jacoby led them to the last bed on the right.

Chris lay on his back, covered by a sheet and blanket. He had a few scraps on the right side of his face. A heart monitor beeped over his head. He was very still but breathing on his own. There was no eye movement, Emily noted, not like he was sleeping but like he was tranquil, immobile, in some other place.

Emily moved slowly toward the bed and gently took Chris' hand in hers. He seemed to respond, to squeeze her hand in return.

Doctor Jacoby said quietly, "You can have fifteen minutes, then we'll let the other's come in, two at a time. Remember sometimes coma victims will remember what is said while they are unconscious so be circumspect in what you say. Miss Bradshaw, I'll be outside and we can speak in my office after you've had your visit."

Emily nodded but her eyes never left Chris. Buck made his way around to the other side of the bed.

"Hey, stud," Buck said. "Emily and I are here."

Emily leaned close to Chris and kissed his cheek. "Chris, I'm here. I love you."

For several days things remained status quo. No change in Chris' condition. The good news was there didn't appear to be any neurological damage and the doctors fully expected Chris to come out of the coma. When he was stable enough, he was moved to a private room. The boys from Team 7, along with Emily, took turns sitting at Chris' bedside. No one wanted him to be alone when he woke up.

Emily had taken a room in a hotel half a block from the hospital. But she spent nights in Chris' room, sitting at his bedside so the boys from Team 7 could get their rest. Mornings Buck was the first one there and he relieved Emily so she could go back to the hotel, grab a nap, shower and return to the hospital.

Five days after Chris had arrived, he awoke. Buck was alone, sitting at his bedside.

Chris swallowed, his throat was dry and scratchy. "Buck," he croaked.

Buck's eyes went wide and he grinned, "You old dog. I knew you'd be back."

"Water."

Buck poured a glass from the bedside table and helped Chris take a drink. Chris nodded when he was finished and Buck set the glass aside.

"Where am I?"

"Rocky Mountain Regional Trauma Center. Do you remember anything?" Buck asked.

"The explosion – the – the meth lab exploded, right?"

Buck frowned, "Meth lab? No, we were in the building chasing after Dorchester. Remember?"

"Who the hell is Dorchester? We were going in to arrest Stevenson for murdering Officer Combs. What's the matter with you, Buck, don't you remember what case we were on?" Chris asked with a shake of his head.

Buck stared at Chris. The Stevenson case. Shit, Buck thought, that was what – almost ten years ago. They were still with Denver P.D. then.

Buck was spooked and tried to hide his discomfiture. "Yeah, stud, you're right. Hell, I was up late last night – just tired is all. Let me get the doctor, okay? He'll be wantin' to talk to ya."

"'Kay. Hey, Buck. Sarah knows I'm all right, doesn't she?"

"Yeah – yeah she does," Buck replied slowly. "I'll be right back."

Buck left Chris' room and paused in the hallway, leaning against the wall. He let out a breath, collected himself and went off to the nurse's station.

"There's been damage to the cerebrum and he's lost short-term memory," Doctor Jacoby said. "It's known as retrograde amnesia."

"What does this mean as far as his recovery is concerned?" Emily asked.

"He appears to be in perfect health. Other than his memory and the abrasions he suffered, he's fine. But it could be a shock to his system to find out he's lost ten years of memories," Doctor Jacoby continued.

"Will he get those memories back?" Travis asked.

"I don't know," Doctor Jacoby said.

"What are we to do?" Emily asked.

Doctor Jacoby said, "I think it would be best if Mr. Wilmington and I speak to him first. Explain to him what has happened and be prepared for his reaction."

Emily turned sorrowful eyes to Buck, "He's going to have to go through it all over again."

JD looked confused, "Go through what all over again?"

"Losing Sarah and Adam," Buck said quietly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Dark Dreams – Part 2**

[Chris/OFC – ATF AU]

"Hey stud," Buck said as he entered Chris' room with the Doctor Jacoby following him.

"Good morning, Mr. Larabee," Dr. Jacoby said.

"Buck, Doctor," Chris nodded. "When am I getting out of here, Doc?"

"We need you to remain just a while longer, Mr. Larabee. You are aware that you had an accident, correct?" Dr. Jacoby asked.

"Yes," Chris replied with a quick glance at Buck.

"Mr. Larabee, you've lost your short-term memory in the explosion. You are suffering from retrograde amnesia," Jacoby continued. "It was probably caused by the explosion. Do you remember what happened?"

"Yeah, we were after a suspect who murdered a fellow officer. His name's Stevenson. There was a meth lab in the house where he was hiding out. There was an explosion when we arrived."

"What year is it, Mr. Larabee?"

"1995."

Doctor Jacoby sighed, "I'm sorry, Mr. Larabee. But it's 2004."

Chris' eyes went wide, "What?"

"Chris," Buck said, "we don't work for Denver P.D. any longer. We've been working for the feds since 1998. Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms – the ATF. You're the leader of Team Seven."

"Where's my wife?"

Buck placed a hand on Chris' arm. "Chris. I'm sorry. Sarah and Adam were murdered in 1996."

"No!" Chris screamed.

"I've given him a sedative," Jacoby said. "It will take some time before he accepts what he's been through."

"He won't know any of us, will he?" Emily asked.

"I don't know," Jacoby said. "We have to take this one step at a time, Miss Bradshaw. I'm going to set up counseling with a psychologist for Mr. Larabee. I think it would help for him to have an objective person, who is trained for this sort of thing, to talk to."

Emily nodded. She met Buck's gaze.

Buck smiled, "I'm going back in to sit with him. Want to come with me?"

"Yes," Emily replied.

Buck slipped his arm around Emily's shoulder and led her from the waiting room.

"We're gonna get through this, Em," Buck said.

"I know. I'm going to support him, Buck – however, I can. I'm going to stand by him," she replied.

"I know you are, honey."

Chris shifted in the hospital bed. The sedative made him feel woozy and he hated that. He opened his eyes.

"Hey old dog," Buck grinned.

Chris looked morose. "Buck," he muttered. Chris turned his head slightly and looked at Emily.

She smiled at him, "Hello, Chris. How are you feeling?"

"Better. I – you look familiar."

"I'm Emily. Emily Bradshaw," she said quietly.

"Do we know each other?"

"Yes. Quite well, in fact."

"How?"

"We met about six months ago, Chris. I came to Denver to do a story on your team. I'm a reporter."

Chris made a face and Emily laughed.

"You didn't want to talk to me, but AD Travis pushed the issue," she continued.

"Travis?" Chris asked.

"He's our boss, Chris," Buck interjected. "Assistant Director Orin Travis. Hell, Chris, Emily's your fiancée."

"Buck –" Emily began, putting up a cautioning hand. She was hoping to ease into that knowledge with a bit more subtlety.

"No," Chris shook his head. "I'm a married man. I would never cheat on Sarah."

"Of course you wouldn't, Chris," Emily soothed.

"I want to know what the hell is going on!" Chris yelled at Buck.

"Chris, the doctor and I tried to tell you. There was another explosion – not the Stevenson case but on an ATF case. It seems you've lost the memory of the time between the two cases. About nine years total," Buck said. "I'm sorry, Chris, but that's the god's honest truth."

Larabee was silent for a moment. "You said Sarah and Adam are dead."

Buck nodded, somberly, "Yeah."

"How did they die?"

Buck took a deep breath. He looked at Emily and she nodded. "There was a car bomb. It was in your car. You took Sarah's car into the mechanics and she was using yours that day. She was taking Adam to school when the bomb exploded."

"Someone was after me?" Chris asked slowly.

"We think so."

"Think? Didn't we ever catch the Son of a Bitch?!" Chris yelled leaning menacingly toward his oldest friend.

"Chris – the case got cold. We never found who set the bomb," Buck said.

"God damn it, Buck!" Chris fell back against the pillows. "Get the hell out of here."

"Chris –" Buck began.

"Now! I need to be alone!"

Buck stood awkwardly and moved toward Emily. She watched Chris who had looked away from the pair.

"I'm so sorry, Chris," Emily said gently. She stood and followed Buck from the room.


End file.
